We need more Ha's
The importance of the little moments of novelty out in the world
Sometimes my friend and I have dinner, and when we do we like to go around and say the highs, the lows, and ha’s of our days.
If you’ve never heard of high low ha before, first of all know that you’re not alone. This is a practice that my friend introduced to me. All the same, you can probably surmise the gist from the name. What was the best part of your day? That’s your high. What was the worst? Your low. Another variation of this “how was your day” type ritual is the rose and thorn exercise that is often conducted in corporate settings. Still in this variation and others it’s the Ha part that is normally absent, and thus the part of the ritual that I was unfamiliar with.
“Well what exactly is a ha again?” I asked my friend the first time we did the ritual, over a delicious pasta meal they had whipped up.
Does it have to be funny? Does it have to be a completely neutral moment, so as not to lean too far into high or low territory?
“It can be whatever you want,” they said.
To me a ha is a moment of your day that may feel a little novel. Maybe it amused you, maybe you find yourself thinking “that was interesting.” To put it simply it’s something you notice. What I’ve discovered is that my best Ha’s come during interaction, but because I work remotely, being out in the world with others is not really the norm. And this has worked for me mostly. As an introvert, I’ve been under the impression that it’s wise for me to “save” my social battery. If I limit my interactions with strangers, I can save my reserve for quality time with close friends, or a specific event I’ve been looking forward to.
But what I have come to realize is that by not leaving the house much during the day in order to “save my energy,” I sacrifice having the very moments of interaction that would make up my main catalog of ha’s.The thing is, when you’re out and about in the world, you naturally introduce more variety. People add a multitude of new variables that stimulate your brain by the newness of it.
You could of course always try to simulate newness at home by yourself. You could read or watch something interesting. But being around others forces a kind of presence I don’t have when I’m at home or by myself. My attention goes outward instead of in, and that makes me more observant of life happening around me. I suspect that’s why body doubling can be such an effective strategy for people with ADHD. Another person’s presence is enough to pull your focus outside yourself.
The Ha’s of your day are not the sort of things you list when you reflect on your year. That’s normally reserved for big life milestones, a concert where you saw your favorite artist, a trip you took, etc. But they are important all the same. These small moments of your day add up and it’s becoming apparent to me they do make a difference to the rhythm of life and the little joys they bring.